God's kids say and do the funniest things

A mother scolded her young son for being so unruly, and the boy rebelled. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear, and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!"

The mother calmly asked, "What if you get hungry?"

"Then I'll come home and eat!" the boy replied.

"What if you run out of money?" she asked.

"I'll come home and get some!"

"What if your clothes get dirty?" she asked.

"Then I'll come home and let you wash them."

The mother shook her head and told her concerned husband, who had come in to see what the hassle was about: "This kid is not running away from home – he's going to college."

:)

In a small town, there was a big pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two small boys went inside the cemetery and filled up a bucket full of nuts, sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me." said one boy.

About the same time, another small boy with a bike and an old, bearded man with a cane walked by the cemetery. Standing by the fence, they heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me."

"Did you hear that?" the boy exclaimed! "Satan and the Lord are in there divvying up souls!"

Shaking with fear, the boy and the old man peered through the iron bars of the fence, trying to get a glimpse of the Lord, but were unable to see anything.

At last, they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go
get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done!"

The old man and the boy both fled. It is said that the old man had the lead
on foot for a good half-mile before the boy on his bike passed him.

‒ via Bill Reynolds
Palatka, FL

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